


jacoby podcast's guide to the shadows

by paopuleaf



Series: death/gods/blaseball [2]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Informational?, POV Second Person, The Shadows, Worldbuilding, asmr jacoby podcast tells you what to do to not get got, for the bits that arent dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27678200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paopuleaf/pseuds/paopuleaf
Summary: “hello! hi! if you’re hearing this, you’re either new to the shadows, newly born, or you’ve been lost for so long that everything’s still unfamiliar to you. all of- all of which are fair, honestly, but- um, here we are!"-you wake up in the shadows. there is an audiobook in your pocket, and headphones around your neck. you listen.
Series: death/gods/blaseball [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023757
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	jacoby podcast's guide to the shadows

click.

“hello! hi! if you’re hearing this, you’re either new to the shadows, newly born, or you’ve been lost for so long that everything’s still unfamiliar to you. all of- all of which are fair, honestly, but- um, here we are! so, um. so!

“you’re in the stadium! your team’s stadium, to be really specific about it. might look a  _ little  _ different- don’t mind the puddles, they don’t hurt- but, just look for what’s familiar. in the crabitat, i can always tell i’m home from the fact that we’re in a huuuuuuge corpse! isn’t that neat?”

the recording skips.

“i have been informed that being in a giant corpse is not, in fact, reassuring! oops. well, that’s blaseball. just look for your team’s touchpoint, and you’ll feel  _ right  _ at home. besides- the darkness, or the greyscale, or the fact that you can’t see your hand in front of your face half the time-

“but-! but, uh, it’s really not that bad! go ahead towards the interior, off the field. don’t touch any of the bases, just… trust me on that one, okay? don’t mind the eyes carved into the doorway, they’re just saying hi. the cameras aren’t anything to be super worried about, either. keep walking… keep walking… you should be coming across a vending machine by now, right? if not, go ahead and pause this until you're there- i'll wait, haha!

"... alright! so, vending machines. they- kinda work? you don't need to eat here anyway, but it's nice. it makes you feel... more human, right? the thing is, if you haven't noticed, is that there's like, absolutely no power here. none. so you're either gonna wanna break it- or you can try to shimmy inside. 

"breaking it is probably the better option, since there's- there's not a whole lot of people to come across you if you end up stuck, right? if you break it, though, make sure you don't bleed. if you get glass in your palms, carefully walk away, and get back to the field. the cameras won't see you on the field. get the glass out there, bandage yourself with whatever you have.

"or you could just. um. not get some food. my friend says that's the 'coward move', but it's also the safe option, so. either way!"

the recording skips.

“from here, you’re going to want to head further in. it’s not going to look like the stadium you know and love, and you’re probably going to get lost if you try to head to any location you remember. was there any dark spots in your stadium? places where space felt a little more liminal? close your eyes, and let your instincts tug you there. don’t pay attention to the cameras. don’t pay attention to the eyes.

“close your eyes. it’ll be just fine, okay? i’ll be right here when you arrive.”

the recording skips.

“are you there?”

the recording skips.

“once you’ve arrived, go ahead and set down anything you’ve collected on the way, whether that’s from vending machines or peo- things you’ve tripped over in the halls. this is a safe place. call it a base! if you’re lucky, you’ll have one with access to the immaterial plane, but that’s really rare, so don’t look for a way to communicate yet. get yourself settled. do you have keys on you? everyone has keys on them, who am i kidding. go ahead and carve an eye into that doorway, ‘kay? don’t worry if you carve more than one. it’s encouraged, really!

“these’ll help with the cameras. if you end up bleeding, you can come back to this spot. it’s- less reliable than the field, but closer, probably- shadowed stadiums  _ love  _ their players. yours will keep you safe. appreciate it sometimes!”

the recording skips.

“from here on is more, just, general tips, now that you’ve gotten settled! tricks for staying afloat in here for… however long you’ll end up staying. there should be a sticky note on the guide, if you look, it’ll tell you what to skip to if you need to. first up is  _ leaving  _ the stadium- it isn’t easy, but you can make it out if you really try!

“it’s another case of- close your eyes, follow your instincts. imagine leaving the stadium. imagine your team. can you remember their faces? remember their faces. hold them close. think about the look as you’re all leaving after a victory. think about the push of the door, think about the metal under your hands, think about the concrete sidewalk right outside. think about the sun. think about the sky. think about the bus, or your car, or your wings. think about your favorite restaurant. think about your home.

“think about it. think about it. think about leaving. think about the feeling of shedding your uniform and getting into the shower, think about falling asleep faster than you should. think about the feedback. can you feel it in your ears? think about home. think of your face. remember yourself. are your eyes closed? open them.”

the recording skips.

“are you there? you should be! go ahead and leave, the door’s unlocked. always is! the city outside won’t… look the same, and you shouldn’t expect to see anyone. the flitting shapes in the corners of your vision are not people, and you shouldn’t follow them. you’re gonna get lost a lot, and you’re gonna have a hard time finding anything familiar, but there should be food, or clothing stores, or barcades. if you need to head back to the stadium, follow the pull of it.

“if you’re from the sunbeams or the firefighters, this should be easy as pie! even the shoe thieves, probably. if you’re not, you might have a little more trouble, but like i said, your stadium loves you! it wants you to come back eventually. this is a lot more fun if you have friends! me and my group do it a lot. bring as much as you can carry back to base, even if it’s like, IKEA furniture. it’s always good to prepare for a long stay.

“on your first trip out, i’d recommend finding a backpack, a first aid kit, and some clothes! food is secondary, since you can raid vending machines, but there should be some candy bars no matter where you end up. my favorites are milky wlays.”

the recording skips.

“next tip! finding others. you tend to get split up into sections of the stadium, although some players will end up purposefully sorted out to the city. you should find at least one other person while exploring. unless you absolutely  _ loathe  _ them, staying together is probably a good idea. pool your resources, play games together, talk! you don’t even have to stick together all the time, just… make sure you have a way back to them.

“this place can be rough, even if you take all the right measures! i know i’m lucky to have found my group, and if you’re lucky, you’ll find one of your own.”

the recording skips.

“i’m running out of storage on this thing! my last tip is to… not be scared. this is a kinda scary place, but when compared to blaseball, you’re pretty safe! there’s no rogue umpires, no incinerations, no feedback or blooddrains. the shadows might welcome you a little more than you’d like, but they don’t hurt. hold them! let it pour over your skin. welcome it. the more you welcome this place, the easier it is to see, to move. the cameras might even start looking you over. 

“um. thank you for listening! i wish you the best out here, and if you’re a crab, maybe we’ll meet up sometime soon! i don’t know if teams from other shadows can come over, but if we find out how, i’ll make another recording. guides are kinda my thing now, haha! keep an ear out for updates on what’s happening outside.”

the recording skips.

“you’re okay here, okay? be careful. good luck, and goodbye!”

click. wrr…

the audio guide is wet under your hands, and while you can’t tell what liquid is dripping out of the seams, it seems like it’s been going for a while. you don’t know how you didn’t notice.

you keep the headphones on, and close your eyes.

waiting for updates.

**Author's Note:**

> god i love jacoby podcast  
> you can find me on twitter @ ghostcatboys, or on tumblr @ catboydeicide ! or in the crabitat, talking about the crabs shadows players, probably,


End file.
